KIPLING AND CUSTARD
Interior: suburban sitting room
Mrs Johnson:
Sugar?
Mrs Amiss:
Yes please.
Mrs Johnson:
Biccy?
Mrs Amiss
Thank you…
[slight clinking]
…Oh, is that a Tommy Tin?
Mrs Johnson:
Yes!
Mrs Amiss [laughing]:
Good heavens, I haven’t seen one of those for years!
Mrs Johnson [defensively]:
Well, they’re very good for keeping biscuits in…
Mrs Amiss [apologetically]:
Oh, yes, I didn’t mean… It’s just that…
Mrs Johnson:
What?
Mrs Amiss:
Well… You know…
Mrs Johnson:
What?
Mrs Amiss:
You must remember that song…
Mrs Johnson:
Which song?
Mrs Amiss:
‘Trust Old Tommy Tin’
Mrs Johnson:
No…
Mrs Amiss:
After the war, when the men came back…
Mrs Johnson: [slightly alarmed]:
Whatever do you mean?
Mrs Amiss:
Well, you know, if they got fresh…
Mrs Johnson:
What about it?
Mrs Amiss:
Well, biscuits were scarce, what with the rationing…
Mrs Johnson:
What of it?
Mrs Amiss:
Well, if hubby started, you know… you took out the Tommy Tin, and took his mind off…
[Long pause.]
Mrs Johnson [indignantly]:
Well really!
[She stands up suddenly and begins tidying up the tea cups.]